Ross Cavins Follow The Money Follow The Money
 
 
 

Are you stupid?

- some kid at Sears
 

Home
Newest Blogs
Oldest Blogs
Short Stories
Movie Reviews
Book Reviews
Bad Poetry
Dirty Comics
Recommended Books
Recommended Music
Touch My Fridge
Shameless T-Shirts
About Me
Email Me!!!



HackWriters.com
USADeepSouth.com
SwillMagazine.com
HissQuarterly.com
Buran.it (Italian)
DeadMule.com

Chuck and Cletus 2.com
News Satire and Funny Photos.

 Subscribe in a reader





Scrivel.com
Humor-Blogs.com



Top Blogs
Blog Directory
Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory Find Blogs in the Blog
Directory


Blog Search Engine
The Humor Directory
Blog Flux Directory
HumorLinks
Blogging Fusion

spacer.png, 0 kB
  • It's every humor writer's goal to write humor that is not only funny, but lasts a lifetime.  A good humorist strives to make his experiences in life relatable and enjoyable…
  • I heard someone talking yesterday about how this pastor and his church owned half a city block and had a membership of more than five thousand people.  By "Big City"…
  • Diet Mountain DewThe biggest moment in my life wasn't my sixteenth birthday.  It wasn't the junior or senior prom.  It wasn't the day of my weddings (nor my divorces).  It…
  • I was playing Scrabble yesterday and I began to wonder if they televised the Scrabble championships.  They have them, you know, because I've read about them.  But do they televise…
  • Who the hell's he talking to?No, this isn't about a stupid cell phone commercial where a chubby geeky guy walks around saying the stupid catch-phrase into a dummy phone.  (Side…
  • Second grade.  Mrs. Mim's class.  It was a time of innocence and playfulness.  We were kids who knew nothing of the gas shortage or the real world.  The nation had…
  • My Dad Wears Mandals I remember when the Mandals craze began.  At least I remember when it crept upon my family and took my dad hostage in its thorny little…
  • UNC vs DukeEvery year about this time, legions of ACC fans begin to tingle with excitement.  The hardwoods have opened up and college basketball is well underway.  Power teams are…
  • The world is an amazing place.  Doctors and scientists find cures for diseases every day.  We communicate through tiny waves sent to space in spectrums that we can neither see…
  • William H. Macy

    I have one thing to say about the man, every movie he's in is good.  It's that simple.  He doesn't pick bad roles or bad movies. …


 
     
Boy Toy Status Revoked PDF Print E-mail
Written by Ross Cavins   
Monday, 10 September 2007 01:04

I turned thirty-six about a month ago and as you can tell from my blog, I consider myself officially getting old. Well, middle aged at least. Thinning hair and aching joints have become priorities, which I think are a decent indication that any "Boy Toy" status I might could have achieved, has vanished.

Forever.

 I've dated older women before, some of which were old enough to have birthed me.  My favorite decade of music is the 60s, before I was even born.  I love old house architecture and old cars and I've always been pretty mature for my age.  So I guess that sort of explains the mutual attraction between me and older women.

And lately I've had older women flirt with me in ways that could only mean they were interested.  Only now, older means a ten year difference rather than twenty.  What is it about women in their forties that dig me?

 

Old Man Walking.
Defintely Without Boy Toy Status.
And these women, they're not desperate.  They're picky.  They're looking for someone honest and true to themselves.  Flaws in a man are actually a necessity because at their age, these women have discovered  that perfection doesn't exist, it's a myth.  Superficial qualities are not secondary, they've dropped back to tertiary status.  Is forty a gold age now where you finally figure out what you're actually looking for?  For both men and women?

I'm way off topic here because this blog was supposed to be funny, how me losing my youth and all those qualities I possessed that defined me as a possible "Boy Toy" have disappeared.  I've gained forty pounds since college and although I carry it well on my big frame, I'd love to lose thirty of them.  But my metabolism just isn't the same and my body can't keep up with my athletic wants.

In other words, ibuprofen has become a mainstay in my medicine cabinet.  I'll soon be checking into Rogaine and Propecia.  A couple more years and I'll need to begin yearly prostate cancer screenings.

I can never be a "Boy Toy" again.  The fact I never was is beside the point; it's that I can't be because I've gotten too old that weighs on me.  I've always been the marrying type anyway but still, it's the loss of my youth.  It saddens me.

Middle age can be fun once you accept it.  I guess.  It's not like I have a viable choice. 

I'm an eternal optimist so I know I'll eventually embrace it, but that doesn't make it any easier.  At least I can still laugh at the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercials.  There's a modicum of comfort, right?

 

 
 
spacer.png, 0 kB
spacer.png, 0 kB
   
RCG Hosting - admin - Copyright © 2007-2010 Ross Cavins