|
| |
|
“Will you put that stupid Dilbert book away!” - Wife Number One, on our honeymoon
|
| |
|
|
|
-
Does a bigger Bible make you a better Christian? I've got a friend that seems to always have this huge Bible with him wherever he goes. I've often wondered if…
-
Men can be defined in more ways than having a penis. We like our sports, whether we're playing them or watching them. We fart in our sleep even if we…
-
People can be divied into two types and it seems as if most women belong to that one group I don't. You know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about…
-
Who the hell's he talking to?No, this isn't about a stupid cell phone commercial where a chubby geeky guy walks around saying the stupid catch-phrase into a dummy phone. (Side…
-
I don't look this gay.First, The Great Cereal Blog (part 1) Remember when you were a kid and it was a big deal to go to the grocery store? …
-
Stress is one of those realities of life that we all experience. Whether it's stress on our job or stress in our relationships, eventually this harbinger affects us all. It's…
-
Some might disagree but they'd be wrong. There are other condiments that run a close second but as far as I am concerned, ketchup is the most important food accompaniment…
-
Dangerous LuggageI caught the ass end of a movie on cable today. I don't remember the name of it but it doesn't matter. What I want to point out is…
-
*not actual nephew I learned something this past weekend that disturbs me. My four year old nephew Joey has a big schlong. It's so big that it gets talked about. …
-
Second grade. Mrs. Mim's class. It was a time of innocence and playfulness. We were kids who knew nothing of the gas shortage or the real world. The nation had…
|
|
| |
|
Written by Ross Cavins
|
|
Thursday, 13 September 2007 03:06 |
|
I was born in America. I was raised in America. I possess a distinctly American belief system. Therefore I'm a Native American by all sense of the term, right? Then why am I supposed to check Caucasian White on all those damn government forms?
What they mean by Native American is obviously the race of people who were here before Columbus screwed their lives up or some guy named Amerigo Vespucci won the naming pool. We call them the American Indian, even though Columbus missed India by about 10,000 miles.
 Early American Map.
You get where I'm going with this?
America is obsessed with labeling its citizens as certain races, fanatical to the point that anything you do is recorded in a census via race. It's so bad that one day, the government will inform us who leads in feces production percentage versus amount of food taken in. Will Whites be full of shit more than Blacks or Asians (or is it Orientals?) or Hispanics (everybody south of America) or American Indians (what's left of them) or Pacific Islanders (Hawaiians)?
From now on, I shed the designation of one race. I'm a mutt in every sense of the word and proud of it. I guess you could say that I'm mostly European Caucasian but have you seen me on a basketball court? I can't be completely white, I gotta have some soul in me somehwere.
So from this point forward, on all government forms, I will now be known as a Native American. I was born here and I'm native to America.
Or maybe I'll be an Other. There can never be too many Others in the world, can there?
P.S. What is an Other? A Jew? A Gypsy? A Leprechaun? An Ewok?
|
|
| |
 |
|
|
|
|
