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“What a loser.” - Anthony, the bully in grade school
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Blame it on the Producer.Back in the spring of 1989 when Milli Vanilli released their smash Album, Girl You Know It's True, a friend of mine introduced them to me. …
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If Jesus came back today, I bet he could dunk a basketball. With that whole water-to-wine, healing-the-blind, walking-on-water thing, you know dunking would be a walk in the park. Think…
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Everyone remembers their first date. It's a special experience that you never forget. Like your first real kiss. Or your first car. Or your first computer.
My first date…
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I am now a published author. Well, semi-published. Somebody else thought enough to put my words on their site, so I guess that makes me published. Visit hackwriters.com …
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Stacy's Mom - Rachel Hunter.MILF. A term I believe was made widely popular by the movie American Pie . It means Mother-I'd-Love-to-Fornicate. The F doesn't really stand for…
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The property management place where I work is moving offices and I was put in charge of coordinating all the utilities and services migration. In other words, I had to…
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It disgusts me. The litter I see on the side of the road. Potato chip bags, aluminum cans, candy wrappers. You name it, Americans throw it out their car windows…
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Does a bigger Bible make you a better Christian? I've got a friend that seems to always have this huge Bible with him wherever he goes. I've often wondered if…
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What is it with this going bald thing? Aren't you supposed to get your bald pattern from your mother's father? Until a few years ago, I used to feel good…
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Growing up, I had what I affectionately called "Fat Boy Asthma." Whenever I would play sports, I had trouble breathing. I never experienced an attack for no reason like most…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Thursday, 27 September 2007 01:30 |
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I admit it, I'm abnormal when it comes to safety. I don't know if it's because of nature or nurture, but for some reason, whenever there's a hint of danger, I opt for the safe way to do things.
Depending on how you look at it, this will either appear stifling or sweet, but when I was dating wife number 1, I wouldn't go anywhere until she buckled her seatbelt (of course, this only worked when I drove). She never wore her seatbelt, no matter what. Not even in inclement weather. Not even after she had an accident where she busted her lip on the steering wheel and cracked the windshield with her head. She never gave me any reason why she hated seatbelts so much. I blame her strict Catholic upbringing. It was only natural she buck against the system as soon as she had her first taste of freedom at college.
 Safety Freak
Drugs? I smoked pot once, on my 30th birthday. What a rebel. I did inhale, though. It was a bong. I coughed. It burned.
I will not use a QTip while I'm near anything that has even a remote possibility of moving, such as a person or a door. Have we all heard the story of the kid who was cleaning his ear with a QTip in front of the bathroom door? Someone opened it and jammed the QTip deep into his ear, thus causing him to lose his hearing and bleed like the ear/leech scene from the Star Trek movie, Wrath of Khan.
I carry knives like a professional. They scare me. I cut my finger real bad once and ever since then, I replay that memory every time before I pick a knife up. Even popping the top on a can of beanie weenies.
I won't even get near electricity. Not unless it's switched off, unplugged and I'm wearing rubber gloves. It scares me. It's the invisible death and Hollywood has taught me to respect it. To fear it. That, and a cousin who coaxed me into touching an electric barbed-wire fence when I was seven. So not fun.
I'm an extremely defensive driver, I visualize wrecks and flat tires and dogs in the road whenever I'm driving. My brain is constantly calculating and recalculating what-if scenarios when I'm behind the wheel. I can't help it.
I used to be accident prone and I'm not far off from it now. And it may just be in my genes to be safer than most. I don't know. I think I'm a product of nature and nurture with a touch of neuroticism to spice it up. I've accepted it, I'm a bona fide safety freak.
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