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“You are one funny dude.” - S. Milton, some guy I know
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I did it. Despite the advice of a trusted movie friend, I watched the musical, Across The Universe. This was a leap for me, you see, because other than Grease,…
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My only regret, Front Wheel Drive. In 2001, when the Pontiac Aztek first came out, it was reviled as one of the ugliest cars ever made. At the auto show…
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After succumbing to the inevitable metabolism death, I underwent The Great Diet Switch . Since that fateful day when I swore off regular sodas, I have rarely to…
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Just like the song says, I'm another day older and deeper in debt. I've always been a fan of birthdays due to that whole "receiving presents" thing. And check this…
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It's every humor writer's goal to write humor that is not only funny, but lasts a lifetime. A good humorist strives to make his experiences in life relatable and enjoyable…
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Yesterday, I made the bestest breakfast in the world. I fried up three sausage patties, six slices of bacon, and two eggs over easy. Then I added two pieces of…
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Giada de Laurentiis is just plain hot. There's no getting around it. Not only does she know her stuff about cooking and food, but she's as sexy as…
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Kids nowadays, they got it made. When I say kids, I mean little humans under the age of seven. The ones who are excited about going to school because homework…
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Nascar is the biggest sport in America, believe it or not, and its roots originated here in the South. Illegal moonshiners in the mountains would spend their time and money…
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We are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving. That's how the song goes and even though tons of stars banded together…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Tuesday, 23 October 2007 04:21 |
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Growing up, I had what I affectionately called "Fat Boy Asthma." Whenever I would play sports, I had trouble breathing. I never experienced an attack for no reason like most asthma sufferers, it only happened when I exerted myself. In fact, that's what the doctor's called it, over-exertion asthma .
I still called it Fat Boy Asthma.
I was chubby during those years before puberty. Of course, now, after puberty we all call it something different. Big-boned. Because our bones have grown, right? Actually, my bones aren't bigger than other people's, just the cushioning on them is.
The descriptor "chubby" was killed sometime during the Political Correctness Movement of the 80s and 90s. The blander, more vanilla terms of "overweight" and "weight-challenged" took its place. "Obese" even came into play but that was reserved for your overly chubby people. We just called them "fat" back then.
 The Infamous Inhaler
Sometimes in the winter months, I'd be playing basketball with the guys and have to stop to drink some hot water. Literally. I'd go inside, run hot tap water in a glass, then drink it down slowly. I later discovered how asthma victims would go in the bathroom, turn the shower on real hot, and inhale the heated mist. Well, so you know, hot water works too.
My Fat Boy Asthma disappeared some time during adolescence, replaced by just plain being out of shape. But not at first, it happened slowly. Over time I didn't bother to bring my inhaler when I played sports. In high school, I could run half-court for thirty minutes and have to stop for a breather. But in college, I could run full court for three hours, then go in and work my labor-type job from 8 to midnight. Not only did I finally get into shape, but the asthma had disappeared.
So to all of you out there with Fat Boy Asthma, or with kids that have it, know that it can get better. With adolescence, not only will it disappear, but it disappears just in time to get dates. Because as we all can agree, it's hard to look cool clutching an inhaler while your face squirms to suck in breaths. Oh, one more thing, and remember this; the asthma may recede, but the fat will stay.
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