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“Thou shalt lose thine hair.” - God
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My Dad Wears Mandals I remember when the Mandals craze began. At least I remember when it crept upon my family and took my dad hostage in its thorny little…
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It's the beginning of September and I have already seen three Halloween stores open on the route I take to work. Three stores that sell nothing but Halloween costumes and…
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I've got an idea for a game show, and only in America, the land of the TV zombies, could this work. I call it "Old Clothing Roulette."
Contestants would…
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I've done it. I ordered the generic version of Rogaine. Minoxidil is the magic ingredient and it promises to restore my masculinity.
I know the negatives. It'll…
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I'm 36. I've been in love more than once and I've done my fair share of traveling. I've been to Disney World, I've seen the Grand Canyon, and I've partied…
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I was hanging out with a bunch of guys watching the US Open on television the other week. We were watching the women's game (no comment) between Venus Williams and…
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The world is an amazing place. Doctors and scientists find cures for diseases every day. We communicate through tiny waves sent to space in spectrums that we can neither see…
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Look out for the newest fitness fad that's sweeping the nation! It's the exercise craze that's got Hollywood stars Matthew McConaughey and Katherine Heigel looking like a million dollars. It's…
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Back in high school, I worked in the shoe department at Sears in the mall. I started the summer before in Personnel but when school came around, I moved out…
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After succumbing to the inevitable metabolism death, I underwent The Great Diet Switch . Since that fateful day when I swore off regular sodas, I have rarely to…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Wednesday, 31 October 2007 01:09 |
 Hallowee, a license to pretend.
Since the earliest days of my memories, pretending was part of my life. Before my sister came along when I was four, I had pretend play-friends. I remember playing with them in the sandbox, pushing the hardened cat turds around with my yellow Tonka bulldozer, pretending the entire sandbox was a construction site.
(I always wanted the write the word turd.) Pretending isn't just a part of a child's life, though, it's a part of everyone's life. We're always pretending, only as we age, we call it little white lies. We tell our girlfriend she looks great in those jeans. We pretend we're happy at our dead-end jobs. We fake our reaction when the neighbor gushes over how beautiful their new baby is.
Then one day a year, we are expected to become something we're not. We can pretend to be somebody else. We can even pretend while being ourselves and then say and do things we want to every day, but can't because societal norms won't allow us. The co-worker that comes to the Halloween party dressed like a hooker? More than likely, she didn't have to borrow those clothes. That guy who comes as the Godfather? He's always had some deep-seated psychological issues. That guy who comes in a dress and blouse? Need I comment?
 More pretending.
Americans are so pent-up most of the time from our inherited Puritan values, that I believe we've come to need this holiday more than any of the others. Sure, at Christmas, we exchange gifts and talk about loving one another in that Christmas spirit. But show me another holiday where it's accepted practice to scare the bejesus out of someone? That's the gift that keeps on giving.
I vote Halloween as America's most sacred holiday. It's probably the only one that doesn't honor a single person or actual event in our history. It exists simply to exist, a holiday that is fun for its own sake. And sometimes, that's exactly what we need.
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