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“Uh ... no.” - Michelle P., a friend, when I wanted a real kiss on New Year's Eve
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I had a birthday this past Thursday. I turned 37. Getting older means different things to different people. Thirty-seven isn't a magic number by any means, to most people, but…
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I was talking with some friends last night and the topic turned to the best water we'd ever had. One guy said he took a drink out of a fountain…
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I'm beginning my Life 3.0 and this weekend was one of mile"stones" for me. I bought a car, a 2004 Pontiac Aztek. It's ugly, I know ... it's so ugly…
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Recently, I entered my wife and I into a "Couple's Best" contest where you submit a 200 word story of how you met and people vote on the best story. …
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The Southern Biscuit.In the South, we take a lot of things in stride. If it rains on game day, we shrug and celebrate that at least we don't have to…
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Hallowee, a license to pretend.Halloween is probably the funnest holiday ever invented. Not only is it during the best time of the year, Autumn, but it is mandatory to be…
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My parents are getting older. They're in their sixties now. While that's still relatively young by today's standards, they can't do things like they used to.
Every time I…
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UNC vs DukeEvery year about this time, legions of ACC fans begin to tingle with excitement. The hardwoods have opened up and college basketball is well underway. Power teams are…
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The Impervious Baseball RainNovember is finally kicking into full swing and the cold is upon us. After a month of teasing us with relatively mild temperatures, Autumn has turned the…
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I ran to the grocery store today to get some onions for the homemade spaghetti sauce I'm making for dinner, and the trip took me by a Hardees restaurant. The…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Monday, 04 February 2008 03:43 |
 Diet Mountain Dew
It was the day I traded in my Mountain Dew for Diet Mountain Dew. That fateful moment in history when I surrendered to the fact that my metabolism wasn't what it used to be.
I was sad that day as I realized my youth was truly gone. A 12-ounce can of Coke has the same amount of sugar as 2 candy bars. Isn't that amazing? The moment I compared the two, it became painfully obvious that my soda days as I knew them were over. My eyes had opened. There was no going back.
So I made a commitment to drink diet sodas 99.9% of the time I had to have that effervescent carbonation, no matter how nasty the diet drinks tasted. It was a paradigm shift in my thinking and a major lifestyle change (considering my addiction to Mountain Dew). I felt like a politician switching from liberal Democrat to conservative Republican. The whole world completely upended.
It probably took a month before that diet drink after-taste melted into nothing but a memory. It was a rough time because before my epiphany, diet drinks were the scourge of the liquid refreshment world. They tasted funny and the only people who bought them were fatties and women.
You wouldn't catch me dead drinking a diet cola.
Oh well, if anyone needs me, I'll be at the grocery store, buying some Diet Mountain Dews, Lean Cuisines and Tampax.
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 The Case of the Discolored Pepperoni
Can you blame me for adding stuff to it?By the time anyone reads this, I'll have been through the experience and we can all laugh about it. But right now, the pain is tearing my insides out an [ ... ]
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 An American in Germany: Day Four (Chilling Out)
Today, we chilled, as per the title. We didn’t wake up until 9 AM, and even then we guzzled several cups of coffee before we even thought about what to do.
Shea and Drew had both gone to work tod [ ... ]
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