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“Go sit in the corner.” - Mrs. Causey, my 3rd grade teacher
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One for every mood.All men eventually experience that first time in the condom aisle. Be it in the local drug store or the 7-11 down the street, we've all had…
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Stress is one of those realities of life that we all experience. Whether it's stress on our job or stress in our relationships, eventually this harbinger affects us all. It's…
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* Not actual party. I went to a Super Bowl Party this past Sunday and saw a friend I hadn't seen in almost ten years. It was good to catch…
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Well, I thought I'd try something a little different this week. My bio and profile on other sites always talks about my cat and how awesome he is (but whiny)…
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Everyone remembers a couple bullies from their school years. But there's usually one in particular that always stands out. He was the meanest, snottiest excuse for a human being on…
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I'm thirty-nine years old and I still think of myself as twenty-something. I have a feeling this is what the old saying about being "young at heart" hints toward. …
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Second grade. His name was Marvin. He was in first grade but he was my age. He either failed or was held back or started late. And no, I don't…
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Hackwriters.com published another of my stories, a creative non-fiction piece based on a true story. You may go HERE to read it. ...
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If Jesus came back today, I bet he could dunk a basketball. With that whole water-to-wine, healing-the-blind, walking-on-water thing, you know dunking would be a walk in the park. Think…
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Growing up, I was kind of a goody-two-shoes. I really never did anything wrong. I was only grounded once (a story for another time). I lived my mischievousness out vicariously…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 16 March 2008 17:00 |
 Dangerous Luggage
Actually, it was a typical Hollywood shootout scene on the TV; the good guys were pinned down by the bad guys with nowhere to go. And to make the scene as realistic as possible, neither side ran out of bullets.
Like every shootout scene ever filmed in the seventies.
So here we are, the good guys caught in a film writer's pickle. There's no way out because the writers didn't feel the need to provide one. Cheap tricks work just as well, right?
Like Pam Ewing waking up from a dream in the show Dallas. Or another actor playing Lionel in The Jeffersons instead of killing him off when the original actor left. Or the infamous Hollywood Judo Chop to knock a character out cold when the good guy needs to sneak by a guard without (god forbid) killing him. Or any of the millions of other cheap tricks they pull.
They think we're stupid or something.
You know how the good guys got out of their jam this time? They threw a bunch of suitcases out as a distraction. So naturally, the bad guys shot at the suitcases because as we all know, suitcases are dangerous. Especially those Samsonite suitcases. Gorillas can't even destroy them! (for you kids, this is a reference to a famous commercial in the seventies)
The bad guys (who happened to have an IQ just barely larger than the suitcases themselves) were totally faked out by the classic suitcase diversion. They shot them up (a hole never appeared in any of them, must have been Samsonite) and the good guys used the diversion to skate out a side door to freedom.
I just have one suggestion for the next time Hollywood feels the need to use this trick. Throw the writers out to get shot instead of the suitcases. That's a win-win situation for us all.
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