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“Your job is being outsourced.” - American Express, 3 months after being hired by them
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Kids nowadays, they got it made. When I say kids, I mean little humans under the age of seven. The ones who are excited about going to school because homework…
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Second grade. Mrs. Mim's class. It was a time of innocence and playfulness. We were kids who knew nothing of the gas shortage or the real world. The nation had…
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Growing up, I had what I affectionately called "Fat Boy Asthma." Whenever I would play sports, I had trouble breathing. I never experienced an attack for no reason like most…
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In days long gone, the dinner table served as a gathering place for families. It was the social gathering site where the day was recounted over a hot cooked meal,…
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You know what's great about a weekday matinee movie? Not only is it cheaper but every once in a while, you can get the whole place to yourself.
It's…
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Dishwater Johnson is a guy everyone knows. We see him everywhere. In a McDonald's drive-thru paying with a hundred. At a construction site with his hat on backwards. In a…
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This has got to be one of the funniest names for TV shows I've ever heard of. Leave it to Beaver? I can't believe that in 1957, TV executives couldn't…
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I did it. Despite the advice of a trusted movie friend, I watched the musical, Across The Universe. This was a leap for me, you see, because other than Grease,…
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There's a lot I miss about being married or in a serious relationship. Cuddling on the couch when we'd watch TV, cooking a grandiose meal for two, taking naughty showers…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 16 March 2008 17:00 |
 Dangerous Luggage
Actually, it was a typical Hollywood shootout scene on the TV; the good guys were pinned down by the bad guys with nowhere to go. And to make the scene as realistic as possible, neither side ran out of bullets.
Like every shootout scene ever filmed in the seventies.
So here we are, the good guys caught in a film writer's pickle. There's no way out because the writers didn't feel the need to provide one. Cheap tricks work just as well, right?
Like Pam Ewing waking up from a dream in the show Dallas. Or another actor playing Lionel in The Jeffersons instead of killing him off when the original actor left. Or the infamous Hollywood Judo Chop to knock a character out cold when the good guy needs to sneak by a guard without (god forbid) killing him. Or any of the millions of other cheap tricks they pull.
They think we're stupid or something.
You know how the good guys got out of their jam this time? They threw a bunch of suitcases out as a distraction. So naturally, the bad guys shot at the suitcases because as we all know, suitcases are dangerous. Especially those Samsonite suitcases. Gorillas can't even destroy them! (for you kids, this is a reference to a famous commercial in the seventies)
The bad guys (who happened to have an IQ just barely larger than the suitcases themselves) were totally faked out by the classic suitcase diversion. They shot them up (a hole never appeared in any of them, must have been Samsonite) and the good guys used the diversion to skate out a side door to freedom.
I just have one suggestion for the next time Hollywood feels the need to use this trick. Throw the writers out to get shot instead of the suitcases. That's a win-win situation for us all.
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