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“You are one funny dude.” - S. Milton, some guy I know
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What is it with this going bald thing? Aren't you supposed to get your bald pattern from your mother's father? Until a few years ago, I used to feel good…
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I am now a published author. Well, semi-published. Somebody else thought enough to put my words on their site, so I guess that makes me published. Visit hackwriters.com …
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In the American South, we are raised with manners as a matter of breeding. We are taught to hold open doors for complete strangers, help those in need and say…
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Let's pretend for a moment that history was different, or that Dan Brown and the conspiracy theorists were right. Let's play with the idea that Jesus married Mary Magdelene. All…
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It's here, it's finally here! I never thought it would come but now it has. Dove Season officially opened in North Carolina on Labor Day!!
Yep, you heard me. …
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It's every humor writer's goal to write humor that is not only funny, but lasts a lifetime. A good humorist strives to make his experiences in life relatable and enjoyable…
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I got a chance to see my two nephews this past weekend and as always, their innocent insight into the world proved to be enlightening. From Monkey Poop to thoughts…
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My parents are getting older. They're in their sixties now. While that's still relatively young by today's standards, they can't do things like they used to.
Every time I…
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I've been married twice, to two completely different women. Number One was 5-5, long blond hair, green eyes, curvy, smart, from West Palm Beach with a strong Catholic upbringing and…
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For the last 2 Sundays, I've worked on the patio at my new place. Before, it was a dangerous sort of walk from the back door because you had to…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 16 March 2008 17:00 |
 Dangerous Luggage
Actually, it was a typical Hollywood shootout scene on the TV; the good guys were pinned down by the bad guys with nowhere to go. And to make the scene as realistic as possible, neither side ran out of bullets.
Like every shootout scene ever filmed in the seventies.
So here we are, the good guys caught in a film writer's pickle. There's no way out because the writers didn't feel the need to provide one. Cheap tricks work just as well, right?
Like Pam Ewing waking up from a dream in the show Dallas. Or another actor playing Lionel in The Jeffersons instead of killing him off when the original actor left. Or the infamous Hollywood Judo Chop to knock a character out cold when the good guy needs to sneak by a guard without (god forbid) killing him. Or any of the millions of other cheap tricks they pull.
They think we're stupid or something.
You know how the good guys got out of their jam this time? They threw a bunch of suitcases out as a distraction. So naturally, the bad guys shot at the suitcases because as we all know, suitcases are dangerous. Especially those Samsonite suitcases. Gorillas can't even destroy them! (for you kids, this is a reference to a famous commercial in the seventies)
The bad guys (who happened to have an IQ just barely larger than the suitcases themselves) were totally faked out by the classic suitcase diversion. They shot them up (a hole never appeared in any of them, must have been Samsonite) and the good guys used the diversion to skate out a side door to freedom.
I just have one suggestion for the next time Hollywood feels the need to use this trick. Throw the writers out to get shot instead of the suitcases. That's a win-win situation for us all.
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