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“Will you put that stupid Dilbert book away!” - Wife Number One, on our honeymoon
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Back in high school, I worked in the shoe department at Sears in the mall. I started the summer before in Personnel but when school came around, I moved out…
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* Not actual party. I went to a Super Bowl Party this past Sunday and saw a friend I hadn't seen in almost ten years. It was good to catch…
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Okay, here's the deal: My office was broken into over the 4th of July holiday. My computer, my brand new Dell computer, was stolen along with all my personal stuff…
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Look out for the newest fitness fad that's sweeping the nation! It's the exercise craze that's got Hollywood stars Matthew McConaughey and Katherine Heigel looking like a million dollars. It's…
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I bought some music online the other day from an outfit named " CD Baby ." They specialize in selling independent music of all genres and…
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I was playing Scrabble yesterday and I began to wonder if they televised the Scrabble championships. They have them, you know, because I've read about them. But do they televise…
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I don't care what anyone says or how many people give me wedgies for this but I think Martha Stewart is hot. Before the email barage begins, have you seen…
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Just like the song says, I'm another day older and deeper in debt. I've always been a fan of birthdays due to that whole "receiving presents" thing. And check this…
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It's the new millennium and has been for quite a few years. The definition of what constitutes a man is being rewritten on a daily basis. Not only is he…
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If Jesus came back today, I bet he could dunk a basketball. With that whole water-to-wine, healing-the-blind, walking-on-water thing, you know dunking would be a walk in the park. Think…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 11 May 2008 18:00 |
 Cute and Cuddly Gismo. Wus.
It was a horror film.
I know Spike laughed all the time, and he seemed to generally be goofing around at first. But that was only until he began killing anything that moved. And he didn't just kill, he killed with wild glee. He blew people up and lit them on fire. He even killed his evil Gremlin buddies and laughed about it.
And all Gismo could do was gurgle and look cute.
The movie stigmatized me. I was horrified beyond the norm. I expected to see a movie filled with cute furry little animals and I got the complete opposite. I experienceda horror that changed my whole life. Gremlins gave me nightmares. At twelve years of age, I awoke in the middle of the night with a vision of my kittens exploding in the microwave. I saw power tools chasing me, ready to gnash and gnaw my flesh to the bone. I was afraid to close my eyes again. I immediately hopped in the bed with my kid sister. I couldn't sleep alone.
The Gremlins were in the house.
To this day, I have not lived down my Gremlins nightmares. They are now a part of my fragile psyche and I still get cold bumps when I see a still shot from the movie. I've never watched it a second time. Last week, I downloaded some classics for my two young nephews to watch, movies that I loved as a kid. E.T. and Goonies and other such films.
I told my sister what I was doing and she paused. She looked at me and said one thing, "You didn't download 'Gremlins' did you?" Then she laughed. Hard.
I blame Gremlins for everything wrong in my life.
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