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“Uh ... no.” - Michelle P., a friend, when I wanted a real kiss on New Year's Eve
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It's true. The world's spelling acuity, and America's in particular, has suffered immensely due to one major reason. The advent of the Internet.
This new medium has single-handedly opened…
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Blame it on the Producer.Back in the spring of 1989 when Milli Vanilli released their smash Album, Girl You Know It's True, a friend of mine introduced them to me. …
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I have a legitimate question: What type of person buys the mid-octane gas? In America, we're sold three octane levels of gas at the pump; 87, 89 and 92 (or…
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The lungs provide our bodies with life-giving oxygen. The heart pumps our blood, the kidneys filter our system, the eyes provide visual representations of the world around us. We've even…
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* Not actual party. I went to a Super Bowl Party this past Sunday and saw a friend I hadn't seen in almost ten years. It was good to catch…
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I'm as tech-savvy as they come. I've been a computer programmer for a major corporation, I've been a head CIS guy, I've run my own businesses, including one where I…
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Moose Tracks is one of the most popular ice cream flavors around. Created by Denali Flavors , it first came on the market in the mid-90s and has…
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After succumbing to the inevitable metabolism death, I underwent The Great Diet Switch . Since that fateful day when I swore off regular sodas, I have rarely to…
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Giada de Laurentiis is just plain hot. There's no getting around it. Not only does she know her stuff about cooking and food, but she's as sexy as…
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Just like the song says, I'm another day older and deeper in debt. I've always been a fan of birthdays due to that whole "receiving presents" thing. And check this…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 11 May 2008 18:00 |
 Cute and Cuddly Gismo. Wus. When I was younger, much younger, the movie "Gremlins " was released. I was twelve when we went to see it in the theatre and let me tell you, this was not a movie for kids.
It was a horror film.
I know Spike laughed all the time, and he seemed to generally be goofing around at first. But that was only until he began killing anything that moved. And he didn't just kill, he killed with wild glee. He blew people up and lit them on fire. He even killed his evil Gremlin buddies and laughed about it.
And all Gismo could do was gurgle and look cute.
The movie stigmatized me. I was horrified beyond the norm. I expected to see a movie filled with cute furry little animals and I got the complete opposite. I experienceda horror that changed my whole life. Gremlins gave me nightmares. At twelve years of age, I awoke in the middle of the night with a vision of my kittens exploding in the microwave. I saw power tools chasing me, ready to gnash and gnaw my flesh to the bone. I was afraid to close my eyes again. I immediately hopped in the bed with my kid sister. I couldn't sleep alone.
The Gremlins were in the house.
To this day, I have not lived down my Gremlins nightmares. They are now a part of my fragile psyche and I still get cold bumps when I see a still shot from the movie. I've never watched it a second time. Last week, I downloaded some classics for my two young nephews to watch, movies that I loved as a kid. E.T. and Goonies and other such films.
I told my sister what I was doing and she paused. She looked at me and said one thing, "You didn't download 'Gremlins' did you?" Then she laughed. Hard.
I blame Gremlins for everything wrong in my life.
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