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“Will you put that stupid Dilbert book away!” - Wife Number One, on our honeymoon
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I have no ass. At all. I'm 35 and my ass has left me flatter than my mattress. It just took off one day without writing or saying goodbye....
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William H. Macy
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I've got an idea for a game show, and only in America, the land of the TV zombies, could this work. I call it "Old Clothing Roulette."
Contestants would…
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I had a birthday this past Thursday. I turned 37. Getting older means different things to different people. Thirty-seven isn't a magic number by any means, to most people, but…
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I bought some music online the other day from an outfit named " CD Baby ." They specialize in selling independent music of all genres and…
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The other day, I was visiting with my parents and my Mom exclaimed with the fervor of a teenager that she found a six dollar store. A six dollar store? …
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Kids nowadays, they got it made. When I say kids, I mean little humans under the age of seven. The ones who are excited about going to school because homework…
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This past Sunday night, I ate dinner at my parent's house. Also in attendance were my sister and her new husband. It was a simple dinner of grilled hot dogs…
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My wife and I decided to go see UNCG and Miami play basketball last night. We knew it would be a tough game but after all, we're both Alumni, and…
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In the American South, we are raised with manners as a matter of breeding. We are taught to hold open doors for complete strangers, help those in need and say…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 11 January 2009 19:00 |
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 I'm beginning my Life 3.0 and this weekend was one of mile"stones" for me. I bought a car, a 2004 Pontiac Aztek. It's ugly, I know ... it's so ugly I love it. More on that later ...
I also finalized moving to a new house. More on that later ...
What really made this weekend special was yet another kidney "stone."
I've passed 105 of them so all in all, kidney stones are not that special any more. A few hours of pain, some really nice pills, maybe an upchuck or two ... and voila, a brand spanking new baby boy!
Saturday I bought the Aztek and I wasn't enjoying myself. The stone I'd been fighting since Thursday was doing a number on me.
In fact, I felt so bad that on the 30-mile drive back home (to my new home), I rode in the passenger seat while my dad drove. How about that? Get a new car and don't even get to drive it.
When I got out of the car, the stone made its move. Literally. It began slashing its way through my ureter like a Division 1 point guard.
 Some of my kidney stone collection. I fell to my knees.
After finally unlocking the house for my parents to see it the first time, I christened the bathroom with its first kidney-stone-upchucking.
The water in the toilet was a pretty blue. Then it wasn't.
Stone #106 then scraped its way through to my bladder, I think. I know that after that point, I only had residual pain and that's what usually happens.
But #106 hasn't passed yet. So I'm not out of the woods.
Now I have to romance the "stone" with gallons of water and hope it's not as big as I think it is.
There's always the risk of grinding to a halt an inch from freedom.
And yes, that's happened before too.
I guess you could say that my new Life 3.0 has gotten off to a rather "rocky" start.
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