I don't care what anyone says or how many people give me wedgies for this but I think Martha Stewart is hot.  Before the email barage begins, have you seen the August 2007 issue of Wired?  She's splayed over the front cover, smiling like a million bucks.

Martha Stewart on the cover of Wired Magazine.

Picture as your mom's best friend, the one who's divorced and out catting around looking for younger men at restaurant bars.  Can't you see it?  Look at her smile!  You gotta agree with me on that, even if you disagree on everything else out of principle.  She has an electric smile.

And I'll say one thing about the sexual aspect.  When it comes to acting out fantasies with her, you really can dress up and play prison guard / inmate!  Afterwards, she can show you how to properly organize your life into an eight-by-eight room.  Think of the tricks you'll learn.  Where to hide a shank, how to make a single roll of toilet paper last two weeks and how to make prison hooch from a honey bun, a few oranges and a used Tang container.

Martha Stewart may not be Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry, but in her own librarian MILF kinda way, she's pretty hot.  Just make sure you put the salad fork to the left of the dinner fork.  Or is it the right?  No, pretty sure it's the left.