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“You call that six inches?” - Sharon, my first real girlfriend
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I did it. Despite the advice of a trusted movie friend, I watched the musical, Across The Universe. This was a leap for me, you see, because other than Grease,…
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I'm as tech-savvy as they come. I've been a computer programmer for a major corporation, I've been a head CIS guy, I've run my own businesses, including one where I…
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For the last 2 Sundays, I've worked on the patio at my new place. Before, it was a dangerous sort of walk from the back door because you had to…
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Look out for the newest fitness fad that's sweeping the nation! It's the exercise craze that's got Hollywood stars Matthew McConaughey and Katherine Heigel looking like a million dollars. It's…
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Who the hell's he talking to?No, this isn't about a stupid cell phone commercial where a chubby geeky guy walks around saying the stupid catch-phrase into a dummy phone. (Side…
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The Southern Biscuit.In the South, we take a lot of things in stride. If it rains on game day, we shrug and celebrate that at least we don't have to…
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Diet Mountain DewThe biggest moment in my life wasn't my sixteenth birthday. It wasn't the junior or senior prom. It wasn't the day of my weddings (nor my divorces). It…
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My parents are getting older. They're in their sixties now. While that's still relatively young by today's standards, they can't do things like they used to.
Every time I…
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Well, I thought I'd try something a little different this week. My bio and profile on other sites always talks about my cat and how awesome he is (but whiny)…
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I heard someone talking yesterday about how this pastor and his church owned half a city block and had a membership of more than five thousand people. By "Big City"…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Monday, 20 August 2007 02:11 |
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I don't care what anyone says or how many people give me wedgies for this but I think Martha Stewart is hot. Before the email barage begins, have you seen the August 2007 issue of Wired? She's splayed over the front cover, smiling like a million bucks.
 Martha Stewart on the cover of Wired Magazine. Picture as your mom's best friend, the one who's divorced and out catting around looking for younger men at restaurant bars. Can't you see it? Look at her smile! You gotta agree with me on that, even if you disagree on everything else out of principle. She has an electric smile.
And I'll say one thing about the sexual aspect. When it comes to acting out fantasies with her, you really can dress up and play prison guard / inmate! Afterwards, she can show you how to properly organize your life into an eight-by-eight room. Think of the tricks you'll learn. Where to hide a shank, how to make a single roll of toilet paper last two weeks and how to make prison hooch from a honey bun, a few oranges and a used Tang container.
Martha Stewart may not be Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry, but in her own librarian MILF kinda way, she's pretty hot. Just make sure you put the salad fork to the left of the dinner fork. Or is it the right? No, pretty sure it's the left.
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