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“Your job is being outsourced.” - American Express, 3 months after being hired by them
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My only regret, Front Wheel Drive. In 2001, when the Pontiac Aztek first came out, it was reviled as one of the ugliest cars ever made. At the auto show…
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My friend Jeff and I were heading out for burgers when he pulled the top of his boxers out of his pants and said, "You know how long I've had…
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Second grade. His name was Marvin. He was in first grade but he was my age. He either failed or was held back or started late. And no, I don't…
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Some might disagree but they'd be wrong. There are other condiments that run a close second but as far as I am concerned, ketchup is the most important food accompaniment…
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Look out for the newest fitness fad that's sweeping the nation! It's the exercise craze that's got Hollywood stars Matthew McConaughey and Katherine Heigel looking like a million dollars. It's…
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Recently, I entered my wife and I into a "Couple's Best" contest where you submit a 200 word story of how you met and people vote on the best story. …
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There's a lot I miss about being married or in a serious relationship. Cuddling on the couch when we'd watch TV, cooking a grandiose meal for two, taking naughty showers…
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Kids always find ways to rebel against older generations. They do it through music and art and hair styles and more obviously, through clothing fashions. For instance, do you tuck…
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I have some simple advice. And since I've been married twice and freely admit to my mistakes, you can take it for what it's worth. I can safely say that…
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I've done it. I ordered the generic version of Rogaine. Minoxidil is the magic ingredient and it promises to restore my masculinity.
I know the negatives. It'll…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Monday, 27 August 2007 02:40 |
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I've got an idea for a game show, and only in America, the land of the TV zombies, could this work. I call it "Old Clothing Roulette."
Contestants would bring clothes to the studio from all years of their adult life, along with their high school yearbook photos. Based on those photos and know the other contestant's current age, they would place blind bets on whether or not clothes from certain years would still fit. The close to today's time, the less the odds on winning. The older the clothes, the more you could win.
 Bellbottoms from Hell.
If the contestant can get their clothes on, they win the money bet. Otherwise, the other contestant wins. Each player starts the game with the same amount of money and play continues in a stock market fashion. They can bet as little or as much as they want on the odds they wish.
And here's the kicker, the contestants have to change right there on the stage.
Okay, upon further review, this idea totally sucks. It's in bad taste and utterly stupid, and it really wouldn't be that entertaining. I'd maybe watch it once, just for the shock value, then I'd be happy for a rerun of The Addam's Family. I mean, besides the fun of watching a fat guy trying to squeeze into some thirty year old pants that are six inches too small. Or maybe some woman with Double-D's pushing the limits of a twenty year old blouse, straining the buttons till they're ready to pop. What else would there be?
Sadly, based on the above formula (bad taste, utterly stupid, not entertaining), this is the type of show that would be a hit in America.
So please, let's forget the whole thing. Let's chalk it up to the late-night delusions of a wannabe writer who couldn't fit into an old pair of khakis. I know I'd gained a little weight but I love those pants.
And they weren't alone. I had a pair of jeans I tried on that I could wear if I never ate again. Of course, I'd need to grow my hair long and stringy, apply some eye shadow, rip up a few t-shirts and learn to play the electric guitar. But I could wear them.
You know, if I lost just 10-15 pounds, I'd have a whole new wardrobe and I could forget playing Old Clothing Roulette. I could just put on clothes like a normal person.
But where would the fun be in that?
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