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“Thou shalt lose thine hair.” - God
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Okay, first, if you're looking for actual scientific data, you're looking in the wrong place. I'm totally pulling all this stuff out of my rear but since my rear has…
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My parents are getting older. They're in their sixties now. While that's still relatively young by today's standards, they can't do things like they used to.
Every time I…
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Steven Seagal isone of the worst action movie heros of all time (apologies to Chuck Norris). Every movie of his is the same plot with the same moves and the…
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Men can be defined in more ways than having a penis. We like our sports, whether we're playing them or watching them. We fart in our sleep even if we…
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I turned thirty-six about a month ago and as you can tell from my blog, I consider myself officially getting old. Well, middle aged at least. Thinning hair…
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Stacy's Mom - Rachel Hunter.MILF. A term I believe was made widely popular by the movie American Pie . It means Mother-I'd-Love-to-Fornicate. The F doesn't really stand for…
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I'm beginning my Life 3.0 and this weekend was one of mile"stones" for me. I bought a car, a 2004 Pontiac Aztek. It's ugly, I know ... it's so ugly…
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Old people like to eat certain foods that no one else eats. Or at the very least, foods they are stereotyped to eat because it's a dying food. Like them.
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Well, I thought I'd try something a little different this week. My bio and profile on other sites always talks about my cat and how awesome he is (but whiny)…
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This past week, I had my bi-annual kidney stone attack. Only, this attack was a culmination of a bunch of small attacks that have happened over the last few months. …
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Monday, 27 August 2007 02:40 |
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I've got an idea for a game show, and only in America, the land of the TV zombies, could this work. I call it "Old Clothing Roulette."
Contestants would bring clothes to the studio from all years of their adult life, along with their high school yearbook photos. Based on those photos and know the other contestant's current age, they would place blind bets on whether or not clothes from certain years would still fit. The close to today's time, the less the odds on winning. The older the clothes, the more you could win.
 Bellbottoms from Hell.
If the contestant can get their clothes on, they win the money bet. Otherwise, the other contestant wins. Each player starts the game with the same amount of money and play continues in a stock market fashion. They can bet as little or as much as they want on the odds they wish.
And here's the kicker, the contestants have to change right there on the stage.
Okay, upon further review, this idea totally sucks. It's in bad taste and utterly stupid, and it really wouldn't be that entertaining. I'd maybe watch it once, just for the shock value, then I'd be happy for a rerun of The Addam's Family. I mean, besides the fun of watching a fat guy trying to squeeze into some thirty year old pants that are six inches too small. Or maybe some woman with Double-D's pushing the limits of a twenty year old blouse, straining the buttons till they're ready to pop. What else would there be?
Sadly, based on the above formula (bad taste, utterly stupid, not entertaining), this is the type of show that would be a hit in America.
So please, let's forget the whole thing. Let's chalk it up to the late-night delusions of a wannabe writer who couldn't fit into an old pair of khakis. I know I'd gained a little weight but I love those pants.
And they weren't alone. I had a pair of jeans I tried on that I could wear if I never ate again. Of course, I'd need to grow my hair long and stringy, apply some eye shadow, rip up a few t-shirts and learn to play the electric guitar. But I could wear them.
You know, if I lost just 10-15 pounds, I'd have a whole new wardrobe and I could forget playing Old Clothing Roulette. I could just put on clothes like a normal person.
But where would the fun be in that?
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