I've been married twice, to two completely different women.  Number One was 5-5, long blond hair, green eyes, curvy, smart, from West Palm Beach with a strong Catholic upbringing and…

Blame it on the Producer.Back in the spring of 1989 when Milli Vanilli released their smash Album, Girl You Know It's True, a friend of mine introduced them to me. …

A Garden Gnome.An epidemic has swept the South, one of epic proportions that threatens the very underpinnings of good taste.  We've all seen it and we've all commented on it,…

That pretty much sums up the thought patterns of a typical American man.  Oh sure, there are males who think differently, but this is what American MEN think about 90%…

Hallowee, a license to pretend.Halloween is probably the funnest holiday ever invented.  Not only is it during the best time of the year, Autumn, but it is mandatory to be…

Four hours ago, my leasing office was robbed.  There were two guys.  The tall one pointed a gun at my face while the other told me not to say anything…

The lungs provide our bodies with life-giving oxygen. The heart pumps our blood, the kidneys filter our system, the eyes provide visual representations of the world around us. We've even…

Dishwater Johnson is a guy everyone knows.  We see him everywhere.  In a McDonald's drive-thru paying with a hundred.  At a construction site with his hat on backwards.  In a…

My only regret, Front Wheel Drive. In 2001, when the Pontiac Aztek first came out, it was reviled as one of the ugliest cars ever made.  At the auto show…

I don't care what anyone says or how many people give me wedgies for this but I think Martha Stewart is hot.  Before the email barage begins, have you seen…