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“Are you stupid?” - some kid at Sears
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Kids nowadays, they got it made. When I say kids, I mean little humans under the age of seven. The ones who are excited about going to school because homework…
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This past Sunday night, I ate dinner at my parent's house. Also in attendance were my sister and her new husband. It was a simple dinner of grilled hot dogs…
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Back in high school, I worked in the shoe department at Sears in the mall. I started the summer before in Personnel but when school came around, I moved out…
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The Southern Biscuit.In the South, we take a lot of things in stride. If it rains on game day, we shrug and celebrate that at least we don't have to…
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Four hours ago, my leasing office was robbed. There were two guys. The tall one pointed a gun at my face while the other told me not to say anything…
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"Housesitter" ran on TBS this past weekend (written in mid-July). I kept the sound off while I tried to write about different things. I read through the paper where it…
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Okay, here's the deal: My office was broken into over the 4th of July holiday. My computer, my brand new Dell computer, was stolen along with all my personal stuff…
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We are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving. That's how the song goes and even though tons of stars banded together…
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*not actual nephew I learned something this past weekend that disturbs me. My four year old nephew Joey has a big schlong. It's so big that it gets talked about. …
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It's the beginning of September and I have already seen three Halloween stores open on the route I take to work. Three stores that sell nothing but Halloween costumes and…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Thursday, 13 September 2007 03:06 |
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I was born in America. I was raised in America. I possess a distinctly American belief system. Therefore I'm a Native American by all sense of the term, right? Then why am I supposed to check Caucasian White on all those damn government forms?
What they mean by Native American is obviously the race of people who were here before Columbus screwed their lives up or some guy named Amerigo Vespucci won the naming pool. We call them the American Indian, even though Columbus missed India by about 10,000 miles.
 Early American Map.
You get where I'm going with this?
America is obsessed with labeling its citizens as certain races, fanatical to the point that anything you do is recorded in a census via race. It's so bad that one day, the government will inform us who leads in feces production percentage versus amount of food taken in. Will Whites be full of shit more than Blacks or Asians (or is it Orientals?) or Hispanics (everybody south of America) or American Indians (what's left of them) or Pacific Islanders (Hawaiians)?
From now on, I shed the designation of one race. I'm a mutt in every sense of the word and proud of it. I guess you could say that I'm mostly European Caucasian but have you seen me on a basketball court? I can't be completely white, I gotta have some soul in me somehwere.
So from this point forward, on all government forms, I will now be known as a Native American. I was born here and I'm native to America.
Or maybe I'll be an Other. There can never be too many Others in the world, can there?
P.S. What is an Other? A Jew? A Gypsy? A Leprechaun? An Ewok?
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