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“Thou shalt lose thine hair.” - God
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I was born in 1971 and I was given my first album in the late seventies. And it was an actual album, not an 8-track or a tape cassette (CDs…
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Cross-Pollinating with Sarah The Crazy Baby Mama ...
See my post "The Agent Who Laughed Himself To Death" at her blog today!
Desperate Times<...
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My friend Jeff and I were heading out for burgers when he pulled the top of his boxers out of his pants and said, "You know how long I've had…
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Four hours ago, my leasing office was robbed. There were two guys. The tall one pointed a gun at my face while the other told me not to say anything…
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My wife and I decided to go see UNCG and Miami play basketball last night. We knew it would be a tough game but after all, we're both Alumni, and…
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It's the beginning of September and I have already seen three Halloween stores open on the route I take to work. Three stores that sell nothing but Halloween costumes and…
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Moose Tracks is one of the most popular ice cream flavors around. Created by Denali Flavors , it first came on the market in the mid-90s and has…
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Diet Mountain DewThe biggest moment in my life wasn't my sixteenth birthday. It wasn't the junior or senior prom. It wasn't the day of my weddings (nor my divorces). It…
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I have no ass. At all. I'm 35 and my ass has left me flatter than my mattress. It just took off one day without writing or saying goodbye....
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My only regret, Front Wheel Drive. In 2001, when the Pontiac Aztek first came out, it was reviled as one of the ugliest cars ever made. At the auto show…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Thursday, 27 September 2007 01:30 |
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I admit it, I'm abnormal when it comes to safety. I don't know if it's because of nature or nurture, but for some reason, whenever there's a hint of danger, I opt for the safe way to do things.
Depending on how you look at it, this will either appear stifling or sweet, but when I was dating wife number 1, I wouldn't go anywhere until she buckled her seatbelt (of course, this only worked when I drove). She never wore her seatbelt, no matter what. Not even in inclement weather. Not even after she had an accident where she busted her lip on the steering wheel and cracked the windshield with her head. She never gave me any reason why she hated seatbelts so much. I blame her strict Catholic upbringing. It was only natural she buck against the system as soon as she had her first taste of freedom at college.
 Safety Freak
Drugs? I smoked pot once, on my 30th birthday. What a rebel. I did inhale, though. It was a bong. I coughed. It burned.
I will not use a QTip while I'm near anything that has even a remote possibility of moving, such as a person or a door. Have we all heard the story of the kid who was cleaning his ear with a QTip in front of the bathroom door? Someone opened it and jammed the QTip deep into his ear, thus causing him to lose his hearing and bleed like the ear/leech scene from the Star Trek movie, Wrath of Khan.
I carry knives like a professional. They scare me. I cut my finger real bad once and ever since then, I replay that memory every time before I pick a knife up. Even popping the top on a can of beanie weenies.
I won't even get near electricity. Not unless it's switched off, unplugged and I'm wearing rubber gloves. It scares me. It's the invisible death and Hollywood has taught me to respect it. To fear it. That, and a cousin who coaxed me into touching an electric barbed-wire fence when I was seven. So not fun.
I'm an extremely defensive driver, I visualize wrecks and flat tires and dogs in the road whenever I'm driving. My brain is constantly calculating and recalculating what-if scenarios when I'm behind the wheel. I can't help it.
I used to be accident prone and I'm not far off from it now. And it may just be in my genes to be safer than most. I don't know. I think I'm a product of nature and nurture with a touch of neuroticism to spice it up. I've accepted it, I'm a bona fide safety freak.
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