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“Are you stupid?” - some kid at Sears
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I was talking with a friend the other day and he suddenly turned to me and said, "Do you smell that?" My instinctive reaction was to say, "It wasn't me,"…
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I have a legitimate question. Why can't food stains be pretty? One day, you're sitting there minding your own business, eating a perfectly good chili burger and when you bring…
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Yeah, you heard me right: Dre not as good as Cube. I overheard this the other day out in public. I don't know about you but I didn't need to…
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I had a dream last night, of a girl. A girl I'd had a crush on since elementary school. We all have that girl (or guy), the one we noticed…
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There's a lot I miss about being married or in a serious relationship. Cuddling on the couch when we'd watch TV, cooking a grandiose meal for two, taking naughty showers…
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The property management place where I work is moving offices and I was put in charge of coordinating all the utilities and services migration. In other words, I had to…
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My normal breakfast consists of scarfing down a Pop Tart on my way to the office in the morning. Usually because I'm too lazy to fix something healthy to eat.
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Diet Mountain DewThe biggest moment in my life wasn't my sixteenth birthday. It wasn't the junior or senior prom. It wasn't the day of my weddings (nor my divorces). It…
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Growing up, I was kind of a goody-two-shoes. I really never did anything wrong. I was only grounded once (a story for another time). I lived my mischievousness out vicariously…
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It's a complete mystery to me. How my five year old nephew can remember the words to every song he hears. How he can recite entire passages from movies verbatim. …
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 16 March 2008 17:00 |
 Dangerous Luggage
Actually, it was a typical Hollywood shootout scene on the TV; the good guys were pinned down by the bad guys with nowhere to go. And to make the scene as realistic as possible, neither side ran out of bullets.
Like every shootout scene ever filmed in the seventies.
So here we are, the good guys caught in a film writer's pickle. There's no way out because the writers didn't feel the need to provide one. Cheap tricks work just as well, right?
Like Pam Ewing waking up from a dream in the show Dallas. Or another actor playing Lionel in The Jeffersons instead of killing him off when the original actor left. Or the infamous Hollywood Judo Chop to knock a character out cold when the good guy needs to sneak by a guard without (god forbid) killing him. Or any of the millions of other cheap tricks they pull.
They think we're stupid or something.
You know how the good guys got out of their jam this time? They threw a bunch of suitcases out as a distraction. So naturally, the bad guys shot at the suitcases because as we all know, suitcases are dangerous. Especially those Samsonite suitcases. Gorillas can't even destroy them! (for you kids, this is a reference to a famous commercial in the seventies)
The bad guys (who happened to have an IQ just barely larger than the suitcases themselves) were totally faked out by the classic suitcase diversion. They shot them up (a hole never appeared in any of them, must have been Samsonite) and the good guys used the diversion to skate out a side door to freedom.
I just have one suggestion for the next time Hollywood feels the need to use this trick. Throw the writers out to get shot instead of the suitcases. That's a win-win situation for us all.
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