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“You call that six inches?” - Sharon, my first real girlfriend
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I have a legitimate question: What type of person buys the mid-octane gas? In America, we're sold three octane levels of gas at the pump; 87, 89 and 92 (or…
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One for every mood.All men eventually experience that first time in the condom aisle. Be it in the local drug store or the 7-11 down the street, we've all had…
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Diet Mountain DewThe biggest moment in my life wasn't my sixteenth birthday. It wasn't the junior or senior prom. It wasn't the day of my weddings (nor my divorces). It…
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This past week, I took a vacation to Asheville. I don't live there yet but I've planned on moving there after the New Year. So I figured that I should…
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Everyone remembers a couple bullies from their school years. But there's usually one in particular that always stands out. He was the meanest, snottiest excuse for a human being on…
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Steven Seagal isone of the worst action movie heros of all time (apologies to Chuck Norris). Every movie of his is the same plot with the same moves and the…
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It's here, it's finally here! I never thought it would come but now it has. Dove Season officially opened in North Carolina on Labor Day!!
Yep, you heard me. …
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I've got an idea for a game show, and only in America, the land of the TV zombies, could this work. I call it "Old Clothing Roulette."
Contestants would…
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There's a lot I miss about being married or in a serious relationship. Cuddling on the couch when we'd watch TV, cooking a grandiose meal for two, taking naughty showers…
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I have no ass. At all. I'm 35 and my ass has left me flatter than my mattress. It just took off one day without writing or saying goodbye....
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 27 July 2008 19:00 |
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 After succumbing to the inevitable metabolism death, I underwent The Great Diet Switch . Since that fateful day when I swore off regular sodas, I have rarely to drink one. When a diet choice is available, even a particularly nasty one, I always take it.
Such is my commitment. Even though I haven't lost a single pound, I haven't gained any either. Victory or Mexican Stand-Off?
Either way, during my quest, I have learned some very important lessons.
One: Mother Nature always wins. There are certian rules in this Universe that can't be altered or broken. And she made them all. Two: Two green tea bags, half a packet of Sweet-N-Low and a single serving of Crystal Light mixed with 64 oz of water is heaven in a bottle. The Lemonade Crystal Light is the best, just the right amount of sweet with bitter. Simply refreshing.
Three: Some drinks can never be diet. They are awful, no matter what. Off-brand diet colas always upset my stomach (read: give me gas) and usually taste like they forgot to add something. Namely, the taste.
Four: Some diet drinks, however, are amazing! Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper tops my list. I call it liquid candy. My next choice would be Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi. Do they put real cherries in there? Third would be a tie between Diet Sundrop and Diet Mountain Dew.
I may have had to give up sugar as I've gotten older, but I need not give up taste. Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper is proof of that. One more question, when do I get paid for this raving endorsement? I'll take a case of the stuff, anything!
Other People That Back Me Up:
http://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/wordpress/2005/04/11/diet-cherry-vanilla-dr-pepper/
http://blog.blankbaby.com/blankbaby/2008/05/diet-cherry-van.html
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