|
| |
|
“You call that six inches?” - Sharon, my first real girlfriend
|
| |
|
|
|
-
It's true. The world's spelling acuity, and America's in particular, has suffered immensely due to one major reason. The advent of the Internet.
This new medium has single-handedly opened…
-
If Jesus came back today, I bet he could dunk a basketball. With that whole water-to-wine, healing-the-blind, walking-on-water thing, you know dunking would be a walk in the park. Think…
-
Recently, I entered my wife and I into a "Couple's Best" contest where you submit a 200 word story of how you met and people vote on the best story. …
-
Yeah, you heard me right: Dre not as good as Cube. I overheard this the other day out in public. I don't know about you but I didn't need to…
-
It's every humor writer's goal to write humor that is not only funny, but lasts a lifetime. A good humorist strives to make his experiences in life relatable and enjoyable…
-
The Original Rudolph BookletThe song of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer dates from 1939, when the Chicago-based Montgomery Ward company asked one of their copywriters to come up with a Christmas…
-
Hallowee, a license to pretend.Halloween is probably the funnest holiday ever invented. Not only is it during the best time of the year, Autumn, but it is mandatory to be…
-
I'm 36. I've been in love more than once and I've done my fair share of traveling. I've been to Disney World, I've seen the Grand Canyon, and I've partied…
-
I was talking with a friend the other day and he suddenly turned to me and said, "Do you smell that?" My instinctive reaction was to say, "It wasn't me,"…
-
My friend Jeff and I were heading out for burgers when he pulled the top of his boxers out of his pants and said, "You know how long I've had…
|
|
| |
|
Written by Ross Cavins
|
|
Sunday, 10 August 2008 19:00 |
|
 "Housesitter" ran on TBS this past weekend (written in mid-July). I kept the sound off while I tried to write about different things. I read through the paper where it talked about Toyota building its Prius here in the U.S. That's not funny.
I read where investors fear that a bailout for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac may be inevitable. I've been saying that for years, that's what happens when you have half the nation's mortgages owned by government-chartered "public" companies. Since your home is the single largest investment most of us have, that's basically like trusting government employees to handle your retirement portfolio. Oh wait, that's called social security, right? Again, not funny.
Wachovia's new CEO walked into the company at the same point the bank's stock hit a 17-year low. That's surprising? A bank whose pet name is "Walk-All-Over-Ya" is having problems with its stock price? Maybe First Union should have bought them instead. Again, not funny news.
In fact, I could find nothing funny in the paper to write about at all. I finally turned to the "Local" section, thinking maybe someone else's pathetic life would be funny. Perhaps a report on how the family of goats down the road ate their owner's laundry? Or yet another story on how some schmuck's well keeps pumping his sewage back into the yard because the water table's wrong? Or maybe a special insert on how some farmer is burning cow shit to generate his own electricity?
Nope, nothing. Not one single funny item ... until I found an article entitled, "A Little Bit Of Laughter Goes Long Way At Job." But despite the promise, this article was far from funny. The writer's picture was funnier than the words written. Pathetic. I didn't even crack a smile. All it did was hawk a stupid book.
Throughout all this, I kept looking up at the TV, watching Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn mouth their words and pantomime their actions. Even on mute, Steve Martin is funny. Goldie Hawn too. And she's hot. Screw writing something funny today, I'm going to watch TV.
|
|
| |
 |
|
|
|
|
