|
| |
|
“Are you stupid?” - some kid at Sears
|
| |
|
|
|

-
The Southern Biscuit.In the South, we take a lot of things in stride. If it rains on game day, we shrug and celebrate that at least we don't have to…
-
Kids nowadays, they got it made. When I say kids, I mean little humans under the age of seven. The ones who are excited about going to school because homework…
-
Moose Tracks is one of the most popular ice cream flavors around. Created by Denali Flavors , it first came on the market in the mid-90s and has…
-
I was eating chicken with a friend the other day, just shooting the breeze and enjoying a nice leisurely meal. He's not necessarily an odd guy, grooms himself decently enough,…
-
The lungs provide our bodies with life-giving oxygen. The heart pumps our blood, the kidneys filter our system, the eyes provide visual representations of the world around us. We've even…
-
Cross-Pollinating with Sarah The Crazy Baby Mama ...
See my post "The Agent Who Laughed Himself To Death" at her blog today!
Desperate Times<...
-
Who the hell's he talking to?No, this isn't about a stupid cell phone commercial where a chubby geeky guy walks around saying the stupid catch-phrase into a dummy phone. (Side…
-
Yeah, you heard me right: Dre not as good as Cube. I overheard this the other day out in public. I don't know about you but I didn't need to…
-
Hackwriters.com published another of my stories, a creative non-fiction piece based on a true story. You may go HERE to read it. ...
-
Yesterday, someone asked me how my day was. I took a few seconds and then told them, "Pretty good, got a lot done. Yep, it was a pretty good day." …
|
|
| |
|
Written by Ross Cavins
|
|
Sunday, 02 November 2008 19:00 |
 *not actual nephew I learned something this past weekend that disturbs me. My four year old nephew Joey has a big schlong. It's so big that it gets talked about. The boy is set for life.
I didn't learn this by giving him a bath or anything. I learned it from my mom.
The other day, she gave his six year old brother a bath. He was sitting on a tub chair and the water lapped just above his privates. He yelled for my mom to look! "Look! My weenie's floating!"
My mom laughed and said something like, "Good, good. Now turn around and let me get behind your ears."
In itself, that was funny. I could end there. But there was more.
He looked at my mom and said, "If this was Joey, his weenie would be touching the chair."
Let that sink in a moment. When a six year old boy regards his four year old brother's penis as large, it's probably not an exaggeration.
Mom laughed as she told me this, eyes glistening and cheeks rosy. I questioned her if this was really so, did my nephew in fact have a big winkie? She said yes, that when the boy was born, my sister thought something was wrong. She called my mom in and pointed at it, saying, "I think something's wrong. Look at it. It's huge."
With a straight face, my mom told her, "He takes after my side of the family."
In case you're wondering, I didn't get those mutant genetics.
Ten years from now, when Joey is beginning to think about girls, I'll hopefully be an accomplished writer and novelist. I can see it now. Joey will want to brag on his uncle. He'll take one of my books to school, a collection of entertaining blogs, and give it to a girl he likes.
He'll say, "That's my uncle. He's a famous writer. I earmarked a few pages for you."
|
|
| |
 |

|
|
|
|