I called Time Warner back yesterday when they disconnected us (their phones are working again), and their database was all screwed up.  The lady told me that we were scheduled to be disconnected on the 17th but they waited until the 18th.  No duh.  I explained, once again, the entire situation and you know what she said?  We were scheduled for disconnection on the 17th and they waited until today, so I got lucky.  I got lucky?

No, lucky is that my patience was holding, I can have quite a potty mouth when I want to.  

I explained again, about moving day on the 13th, changing the date to the 20th, etc.  Then you know what this woman told me?  "Sir, your name isn't on the account, I can't reveal any more to you, you need to get (bleep bleep) on the phone."  Excuse me?  I politely explained that I'm the techie-type who originally called in the order and that as many times as I've called on this, my name should be plastered all over her database.  Hell, I should probably own part of Time Warner by now.

After a second's pause, she continued trying to help me.  I think she was averse to actually doing any real work that didn't involve punching a few keys and saying, "Thank you for calling Time Warner."

I explained to her that in no uncertain terms was the disconnection our fault and that we needed the internet service turned back on immediately because we had to use it to conduct business.  Then she seemed to magically locate all the notes in the database that confirmed what I was saying.  She clicked a few keys and said she could get a technician out there to turn it back own that day (after first telling me it would be the next day and me whining about it).  That was it, I thanked her and she breathed deeply and we hung up.  I had cauliflower ear but I was satisfied I had it under control.

A few hours later I saw the Time Warner van outside and was happy when the cable light came on modem, blinking.  I reset the router and the modem, leaving them unplugged for about 20 seconds each to let the capacitors bleed out their electricity, plugged them back in and watched them go through their boot-up light display.  The router came up fine and the cable modem came up … the cable light still blinking fast.  Meaning, "you have service but not really" which in techie terms meant "we can see you but you can't see us."  In old English, it translates to Shit-Outta-Luck.

I went out to get the cable guy but he'd taken off already.  Probably to hook up some gnome in Candyland who got the digital phone package.