The First Knuckle Method.

You’ve seen these people.  We all have.  The people that engage in some good old fashioned public booger mining.

That’s my politically correct term for nose picking.  I call it booger mining.  Ingenious, huh?  Conjures up visions of midgets with hardhats and lanterns, singing camp songs as they descend into the depths of a nasal cavity for another toiling day of mining.  For boogers.

These people I speak of, they pick their noses in public.  On the street.  In a car.  In a deli.  In a bar.

My Dr. Seuss impersonation.

These public booger miners either a) don’t care if you see them digging out a juicy green gob of goo, or b) don’t realize anyone is watching them stick their finger in up to the first knuckle.

They think they have a personal shield around them that renders their actions invisible.  Like going the speed limit in a car means no one can see them digging around for that slimy one that you can never really get a good grip on because there’s no true nucleus.  It’s just a smushy gelatinous glob of mucus that squishes under your finger, then surrounds it like you’re starring in a sci-fi movie.

These people think that once they get the elusive offender out, they can flick it away or wipe it on a hidden portion of their pants (or dress) and it never happened.  Like it didn’t count or something.

Like the five second rule when you drop a candy bar on the ground.  If you pick it up quick enough, it never occurred.  You can still eat it because you got it before the germs had a chance to know it was there and latch on.

But then again, you’ve got snot on your fingers, so why the hell are you so damned worried about floor germs?