velcro Kids nowadays, they got it made.  When I say kids, I mean little humans under the age of seven.  The ones who are excited about going to school because homework is actually fun.  The ones who can still get away with an occasional poop in the pants.  The ones who still bother Grandpa to play pull-my-finger because it’s funny to hear from that elephant that lives under the recliner.

Kids have it made because so many things are easy for them.  Technology has spoiled them.  I remember actually looking stuff up in an encyclopedia; now the same topics are googled with ease.  Yes, six year olds google.

My five year old nephew got on the computer the other day, downloaded a game off one of his kiddie websites, installed it, and began playing.  Googling to these kids is as easy as spitting up this morning’s breakfast.  Why do you think the expression “kid’s play” exists?

Kids nowadays don’t even have to really learn how to tie their shoes if they don’t want.  Velcro is prevalent in kid’s shoes today, as are wheels and lights.  I’m pretty sure my nephew’s shoes even have a USB port and 2 GB of flash memory with a 2 inch LCD screen built into the tongue.

In the seventies, I had to learn to tie my shoes.  Velcro, although invented long before 1976, was scarce in the shoe world at that time.  It was only used in top secret government applications that the aliens who brought it to us approved of.

How I learned is pretty cool.  At age five, a fellow Kindergartenian asked me to tie his shoes.  And I did!  It was at that moment I realized that I could tie shoes.  Somehow my subconscious self had learned the intricate art of shoe tying but hadn’t clued me in yet.  I was officially a big boy that day.

My nephew.

My nephew cruising the web.

Technology is spoiling kids, who now say “Google” and “Start Button” months before the traditional “mama” and “dada.”  It’s coded into their genetics at conception.  But for its wonders, technology has greatly crippled our children as much as it has enhanced their lives.

The other day, I walked into the living room and caught my three year old nephew touching a magazine cover repeatedly and getting pretty upset.  He kept saying it was broke and wouldn’t open.  On the cover was a picture of a computer screen and it featured some graphics that looked like Windows buttons.

I watched him for a minute, marveling at the sight. A three year old banging his head against the proverbial digital wall.

Then I told him the magazine needed to be rebooted; it was an old version no longer compatible with his finger.  The new one would be out next month with some added features but if he was patient, I would get him a beta copy next week.

He asked if I was an alpha tester.  I blinked and told him, “Yes.”

“Sweet,” he said.  Then he told me to email him the website, he’d download it himself.

Go figure.